by DevonUsa Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:56 amFAT:
* Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise
* Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot.
* Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
* Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
* Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
* Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
* Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
* Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
* Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
* Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
* Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
* Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
* Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
* Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
* Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
* Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the **** off.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
* Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
* Your mom is so fat, when the **** goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
* Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
* Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
* Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
* Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
* Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl.
* Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
* Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
* Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
* Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
* Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
* Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
* Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
* Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
* Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down.
* Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
* Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
* Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
* Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
* Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
* Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
* Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
* Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
* Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
* Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
* Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
* Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
* Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
* Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
* Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
* Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
* Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
* Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
* Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3.
* Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
* Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
* Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
* Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
* Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
* Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
* Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
* Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
* Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
* Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
* Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
* Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
* Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.
* Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!"
* Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
* Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
* Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend.
* Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
* Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
* Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
* Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale.
* Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
* Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live.
* Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
* Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
* Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass.
* Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button.
* Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets.
* Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out.
* Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle.
* Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission.
* Your mom is so fat, when she showers, her feet dont get wet
* Your mom is so fat, she broke a branch on her family tree
Stupidity
* Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples.
* Your mom is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
* Your mom is so stupid, she has no feet and complains her shoes are too tight.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
* Your mom is so stupid, she hung herself with a cordless phone.
* Your mom is so stupid, she set the VCR for 2 hours to record 60 minutes.
* Your mom is so stupid, she asked me "What does Yield mean?" and I said, "Slow down." And she said, slowly, "W H A T D O E S Y I E L D M E A N ?"
* Your mom is so stupid, she froze to death in a furnace.
* Your mom is so stupid, she burned to death in a freezer.
* Your mom is so stupid, she waves her hands around in public and calls it "Air Conditioning"
* Your mom is so stupid, she thought a paramedic was two doctors.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to change the channel on a TV dinner.
* Your mom is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
* Your mom is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
* Your mom is so stupid, she thought she'd unravel if she touched bellybutton
* Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a Food City and starved to death.
* Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours staring at a bottle of orange juice because it said 'Concentrate.'
* Your mom is so stupid, she locked her keys outside of her car.
* Your mom is so stupid, she threw a clock out the window to watch time fly.
* Your mom is so stupid, she said she was 'illegitimate' because she didn't know how to read.
* Your mom is so stupid, she thinks your jokes are funny
* Your mom is so stupid, she used a math book to plagiarize her English essay.
* Your mom is so stupid, she really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.
* Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours to find the "any" key on the keyboard.
* Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise
* Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot.
* Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
* Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
* Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
* Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
* Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
* Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
* Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
* Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
* Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
* Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
* Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
* Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
* Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
* Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the **** off.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
* Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
* Your mom is so fat, when the **** goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
* Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
* Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
* Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
* Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
* Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl.
* Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
* Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
* Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
* Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
* Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
* Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
* Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
* Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
* Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down.
* Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
* Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
* Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
* Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
* Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
* Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
* Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
* Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
* Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
* Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
* Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
* Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
* Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
* Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
* Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
* Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
* Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
* Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
* Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3.
* Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
* Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
* Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
* Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
* Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
* Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
* Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
* Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
* Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
* Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
* Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
* Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
* Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.
* Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!"
* Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
* Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
* Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend.
* Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
* Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
* Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
* Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale.
* Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
* Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live.
* Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
* Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
* Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass.
* Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button.
* Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets.
* Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out.
* Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle.
* Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission.
* Your mom is so fat, when she showers, her feet dont get wet
* Your mom is so fat, she broke a branch on her family tree
Stupidity
* Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples.
* Your mom is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
* Your mom is so stupid, she has no feet and complains her shoes are too tight.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
* Your mom is so stupid, she hung herself with a cordless phone.
* Your mom is so stupid, she set the VCR for 2 hours to record 60 minutes.
* Your mom is so stupid, she asked me "What does Yield mean?" and I said, "Slow down." And she said, slowly, "W H A T D O E S Y I E L D M E A N ?"
* Your mom is so stupid, she froze to death in a furnace.
* Your mom is so stupid, she burned to death in a freezer.
* Your mom is so stupid, she waves her hands around in public and calls it "Air Conditioning"
* Your mom is so stupid, she thought a paramedic was two doctors.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to change the channel on a TV dinner.
* Your mom is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
* Your mom is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
* Your mom is so stupid, she thought she'd unravel if she touched bellybutton
* Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a Food City and starved to death.
* Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours staring at a bottle of orange juice because it said 'Concentrate.'
* Your mom is so stupid, she locked her keys outside of her car.
* Your mom is so stupid, she threw a clock out the window to watch time fly.
* Your mom is so stupid, she said she was 'illegitimate' because she didn't know how to read.
* Your mom is so stupid, she thinks your jokes are funny
* Your mom is so stupid, she used a math book to plagiarize her English essay.
* Your mom is so stupid, she really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.
* Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours to find the "any" key on the keyboard.
